Are You “In Integrity” with Yourself?
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. Henry David Thoreau
Recently I attended a wellness conference with women from around the U.S. On our lunch break, I joined a group of women sitting outside on the grass. Most of the women were in their thirties and forties and married with kids.
When I joined the group, they were in the midst of discussing marital infidelity. A couple of the women shared they had recently had ongoing intimate online exchanges with ex-boyfriends and the “cyber dating” was heating up. The group was going back and forth on whether or not this was “cheating.” I sat and observed the discussion and reflected silently on this topic.
Suddenly, one of the women asked me what I thought. I paused for a long time. Finally, I shared that when I’m grappling with a question like this, I do an “inner check-in” and ask myself if I feel the action is “in integrity” with who I am? And 100% of the time, I get the answer right away.
The group got very quiet. Some nodded knowingly, as answers surfaced for them, as well.
Often if the issue I’m examining is really big and I want to make sure that my actions are in alignment, I’ll ask the following three questions:
What is my motivation for this action (truly)?
Am I acting from a place of fear or love?
Is this action reflective of my highest self?
I think for most of us “being in integrity with self” is often an hour to hour or day to day challenge. Or sometimes, we’re so “asleep,” we’re not even aware we’re out of alignment.
I’ve bumped up against a lot of people lately who are making choices based on fear. And, it’s challenged me to access my deepest compassion and to give others the benefit of the doubt. Because, ultimately, I believe we all want to be in balance, in alignment and “in integrity” with the highest and best in each of us.
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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey to life balance and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.
Photo: Renee Peterson Trudeau. Henry David Thoreau’s headstone, Sleep Hollow Cemetery, Concord MA.