My husband and I had a challenging time around communication this past week. Of course, I can quickly blame it on his heady, introverted nature (he’s an INTP if you know Myers Briggs speak), but the truth is it takes two to tango.
At the same time we were dealing with our stuff, four friends reached out to me within a 48 hour period—all were navigating big relationship hurdles and some shared they may be looking at separation or divorce. (It was an emotional weekend for many, to say the least.)
It seems many of us are being challenged right now to examine what’s working and what’s not in our key relationships, and if necessary, to course correct.
Hours later following our disconnect, my partner and I had a great conversation around things each of us could do differently to help enhance harmony in our relationship.
And, for the first time ever, rather than internalizing “what’s wrong,” or ingesting self-criticism or blame (my husband’s tendency)—we both simply came to the realization that “Ahhhh … a change is needed,” in how we communicate.
It felt like such a relief to realize we didn’t have to turn this into WWIII. We could simply see this for what it was: a call to action to change the way we do things. And to respond accordingly. Even with a bit of levity!
Sometimes changes may involve tweaking our cruise control setting or adjusting our rear view mirror and other times, it may mean moving from Farm Road 150 to the toll road.
“Ahhh … a change is needed.” It feels good just to say it (and a lot less burdensome than “So how do we fix this?”).
I look forward to getting many more opportunities this fall to respond to various situations with “Ahhh … a change is needed.” Maybe you’d like to test-drive it, too.
An Invitation: this past summer I had some huge ah-has around how I want to live/work moving forward. I came to the realization that even though there are many things I appreciate and enjoy about how I’ve set up my life, I desire even more space, simplicity and freedom. So what better way to embody a New Way of Being than to teach it? Read 7 Ways to Embrace a New Way of Being and join me and like-minded men/women for my 4-week New Way of Being Telecourse for all of us who are done with overwork and overwhelm. I’m so excited about this revolutionary new program and can’t wait to support you in creating the life you desire from the inside-out!
P.S. Have you heard about the I CHOOSE LOVE public service campaign? It’s a reminder to ourselves and our brothers and sisters that when we come from love–one of the most powerful yet underutilized forces on the planet–we have the ability to transcend fear and remember what we’re really hear to do: give and receive love. Learn more about how you can embrace this message in your daily life through being more mindful, sharing stories, ordering a tshirt (at cost) and more.
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Photo: I’m currently taking qi gong (an ancient practice designed to balance qi or life energy) from Master Li at AOMA I love Master Li’s prompts to expand into a “feel good” state while doing qi gong. He says the emotional state is one of the most important elements of the practice. “Ahhh … a change is needed,” I now say with a smile. I think Master Li would approve.