Last weekend my teenager, husband and I all wanted to see a movie. This is always tricky, but our compromise Ant-Man and the Wasp worked, and I even enjoyed it!
In the movie, the primary antagonist, Ava Starr (above), can phase through solid matter as a result of a childhood accident involving radiation from the “Quantum Realm” that caused her individual cells to constantly separate and reunite. She repeatedly phases in and out of reality, a condition that causes her constant, excruciating pain. Her greatest hope and dogged pursuit was to stop “phasing” between these states and statically reside in the material, human realm. (You can watch the movie to find out what happens.)
Ava’s character has stayed with me as I have someone close to me who is in the same boat. He’s got one foot in a new way of being and another in old ways. He’s been phasing in and out of these worlds and it’s been painful for him (and painful to watch). You can see where he wants to be—and belongs—but he keeps getting pulled back and stuck.
Are you in between two different states? Can you envision and feel your next evolution—maybe you even live there part-time—but you’re still succumbing to old, unhealthy patterns or habits? Are you frustrated and ready to land firmly in your new way of being but you keep finding yourself lost in a labyrinth of old thought or behavior? If you can relate –I sure can—here are some suggestions for navigating this journey:
Practice self-compassion. We’re all doing the best we can, I truly believe that. Shifts come about when we invite in curiosity, playfulness and kindness. No one ever changed for the better from getting the whip. Be gentle with yourself.
Make a list of what you’re doing right. It’s so easy to see our faults, but it’s so important to take time to acknowledge what’s working and where we’re making headway. What are two positive “new ways of being” you’re practicing right now?
Ask for help. People who are comfortable asking for and receiving help—whether it’s from a coach, therapist, mentor, professional organization, business partner, neighbor, friend or colleague—experience greater success and feel more connected and confident in all areas of their lives. Learning to ask for and receive help can be one of the most important skills you can cultivate AND it can open you up to all kinds of new perspectives. Having a support system can make all the difference in how you experience the journey.
Keep me posted on how your “phasing” is going and let me know what helps you when you’re evolving from one place to the next. I’d love to hear from you on Live Inside Out, where this blog will be posted.
HOW CAN I SUPPORT YOU? THREE UPCOMING OPPORTUNITIES:
- Retreats are ideal if you’re in transition, exploring, “What’s next?” and want to create new ways of being. Join soulful, like-minded women in an empowering and deeply supportive environment this fall for two restorative women’s self-renewal retreats. I’ll be in the MA Berkshire Mountains Sept. 21-23 at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health (lodging is almost sold out!) and in the ancient CA redwoods Oct. 26-28 at 1440 Multiversity; learn more.
- Craving authentic community and want to find (or create) your tribe? Learn more about our global sisterhood of RTA-Certified Facilitators and empower/support women in your community! More here on how to become a RTA-Certified Facilitator and join our inner circle ($100 off through 9/30; includes private coaching with me).
- Want to challenge your employees, organization or conference members to explore new ways of being? Schedule me to present a custom work-life balance/resiliency presentation or workshop in 2019. I travel and speak around the globe at conferences, leadership retreats and employee events; one of my most popular topics is Finding Balance in a 24/7 World: The Art & Science of Self-Renewal. Learn more.
Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by work-life balance coach/author/speaker Renée Peterson Trudeau. Passionate about helping men and women experience balance through the art/science of self-care, her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, Spirituality & Health and more. Thousands of women in ten countries are becoming RTA-Certified Facilitators and leading/joining self-renewal groups based on her award-winning self-care curriculum. She is the author of three books on life balance and living intentionally including the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and 16-year-old son. More on her background here.