Sitting at my desk at work right now surrounded by tax forms, to-do lists, contracts to review and pistachios–I’m juggling one of our cars being in the shop after a recent costly repair last month, my almost-nine-year-old in total disequilibrium (he confessed this morning he was taking “shots” of chocolate syrup from the fridge after his breakfast didn’t “cut it”), preparing to lead a teleclass this week with my brother, doing a TV interview tomorrow, managing hormonal ups and downs, responding to staff/clients requests, training 2 new staff members who started Monday and preparing for our Jan. 28th Winter Self-Renewal Retreat and several other events immediately following.
My theme for 2011 is playful (different than “playing” –which I do quite a bit).
This theme arose from my deep desire to really take both hands off the wheel and let go in all areas of my life.
I decided that for me, letting go completely would look like being “playful” at work, at home and in relationships. I’ll keep you posted how this unfolds in 2011!
So today, as I was driving back from yoga class, I asked myself what does letting go really look like? Today, it’s:
-Committing to keeping self-care at the top of my list, even on days like today, when I feel stretched way too thin
-Surrendering my relationships with my partner, child and extended family to Spirit—a source much wiser and larger than myself
-Trusting that I will listen, allow synchronicity to unfold and be guided exactly how best to use my talents, energy, time and resources to serve others
-Allowing myself to hit the “reset” button as often as I need to, and begin anew each day
-Remembering that I’m not alone and that asking for help allows me to release control and embrace “good is good enough”
I shudder to think how controlling I was in my twenties (I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her if we were to meet on the street today!).
I got a lot better in my thirties–having Jonah helped with this–and now at 45, I’m really ready to release the need to have things go my way. Because when things “look” like they’re going my way, it’s all a big illusion anyway. Isn’t it? (If you’re in Austin, don’t miss the opportunity to see Byron Katie Jan. 28-29. She taught me a lot about control.)
One of the quotes I love that’s in The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal and always gets women laughing, is “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the Universe.” Larry Eisenberg
Baby steps. Keep calm and carry on.
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Photo: One of my biggest teachers on the planet on the subject of playfulness: my younger brother Kert, a Qi Gong teacher. You can always count on Kert to find humor and silliness in EVERY situation! In this photo Kert and I (ages four and three) are discussing our next Life Balance Telelcass.