Whether your kids are toddlers or teens, the start of a new school year offers the opportunity for a fresh start and a chance to do things differently.
If you’re feeling some anxiety around all the transitions, scheduling, juggling and driving that usually accompany a new school year, take a deep breath–you’re not alone. Then, pause and consider the following ideas. Adopting even one of these strategies could make a huge difference in how you experience this potentially hectic time. Start with compassion and a “baby steps” mindset as you consider the following:
1. Identify what’s #1 for your family this fall. What values or new ways of being are most important to you in the coming months? Perhaps creating a calm morning routine, eating dinner together more often, identifying “screen free” zones, developing a good homework routine or mapping out a game plan for regular communication between family members? Decide what’s at the top of your list and then enlist family member’s help to make this a priority.
2. Set yourself up for success by enlisting a support team. What type of support do you and your family need to feel grounded and balanced as you transition into the new season? Perhaps a tutor or parenting coach, a new carpool team, a source for ready-made healthy meals, a neighbor that can help out in a pinch or a couple of back-up baby sitters? Line up help now and post your “support team” list and numbers in your kitchen where the whole family can see it.
3. Schedule replenishing nature respites. Being in nature elicits a relaxation response; it helps us shed worries and restore and replenish our bodies and minds like nothing else. Pull out your calendar and schedule some family hikes, a father/son camping trip, a visit to a country cabin or lake house over a holiday break, or a potluck at a nearby park with your neighbors or friends.
4. Do less to experience more. In our office, we love the mantra, “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” A key cause of stress is ambition and trying to do too much. Researchers in the field of positive psychology say we’re happiest when we have fewer options and decisions to make. What can you say “no” to so you can simplify your family’s life? Our quality of life is enhanced not by adding things, but by letting go of that which we don’t need.
5. Reign in technology use. In a recent survey on emotional health, families across the U.S. said overuse and misuse of technology was the top culprit for derailing their family’s well-being and sense of connectedness. Create some clear media guidelines for how and when your kids can be online, play video games or use other devices. Consider turning off all devices and putting them to “bed” at 8:30 p.m. each night (this applies to parents, too!). Maybe designate “screen free zones” or times in your home. Many families also are finding having a landline helps with screening calls and preserving precious family time in the evenings and on the weekends (we love our land line!). Lastly, don’t be afraid to change or update these policies often. Check out my friend Janell Burley Hofmann’s site for help creating your own iRules.
6. Decide how you’ll communicate as a family. Regular, open, heartfelt communication is key to people feeling heard, seen, safe and secure and knowing their ideas matter; especially when schedules are full. Some families have weekly communication meetings (post an agenda on the fridge and have your children add items to the list that they want to cover), some parents have Sunday evening planning meetings after the kids go to bed and others adopt practices as simple as everyone sharing a “thumbs up and thumbs down” at dinner each night. When and how you communicate will vary from family to family.
7. Designate weekends for rest and relaxation (as best you can!). While it’s easy to stack our weekends with errands, household cleaning, social activities, sports and more, weekend time is sacred. The primary purpose of this 48 hour break is to rejuvenate and restore your energy reserves so you can return to work and school Monday with a fresh, excited outlook—ready to learn and take on new projects. While spending the weekend in a hammock may be unrealistic, realize rest and relaxation are essential to problem solving, idea generation and creativity for both adults and kids. At least a portion of your weekend—and maybe all day Sunday– should be devoted to physical and emotional renewal.
Now is a great time to mindfully reflect on what worked and didn’t work for your family last fall. Then, together explore how you might implement some of these strategies—or others—now so you enter the new school year feeling cool, calm and connected.
TAKE ACTION: Would you like to stress less and learn how to become your own BFF in the second half of life? Are you in your 40’s-50’s and craving high-level mentoring/support and authentic connection from a circle of like-minded women? I’d love to support you! Join me for four Thursdays Sept. 10-Oct. 1 from 12-1 p.m. CST and enjoy resources/inspiration/new tools for this pivotal time. Learn/more register for Embracing the Wild Unknown: Nurturing Yourself in Mid-Life & Beyond–a live telecourse (that means via phone; all classes are recorded). Space is limited-reserve your spot today! Participate live or you can download the recorded classes/mp3s at your convenience. But hurry, this will sell out.
Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by mindfulness teacher/author and Career Strategists president, Renée Peterson Trudeau. Offering speaking, custom workshops, training, books/telecourses and individual coaching focusing on self-renewal for women, her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Spirituality & Health and more. Thousands of women in ten countries are becoming RTA-Certified Facilitators and leading/joining self-care groups based on her award-winning curriculum. She is the author of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal and Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and 13 year-old son. More on her background here.