“If you want reality to be different than what it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.” Author/teacher Byron Katie
Saturday morning after yoga I returned home to find my 13 year-old playing video games, the downstairs living area was trashed, chores had been tossed out the window and my husband was nowhere in sight. Earlier that morning, my partner and I had pow-wowed on a plan for the morning which included my husband and son doing “team clean” to bring some order to our home. I felt irritated and watched my zen-like state fly out the window as I yelled upstairs to my husband, “What’s going on?!”
As I’ve been navigating my teenage son’s differentiation process and demands for more freedom, I’ve noticed a pattern I’ve fallen into of feeling increasingly frustrated when things aren’t as they should be: my son is goofing off online instead of studying for math, my partner still hasn’t called the plumber, a vendor over-charged me, the vegetable soup I made was too salty. I know things won’t always go my way but lately, I’ve been a bit of a bulldog.
The other day in a workshop, I took some time to write out what I was grateful for. I filled a large 11×7 sheet and felt I could have kept going. When I finished, I wrote at the top of the page, “Everything is perfect,” and then heard my Wise Self whisper, “Remember…..?”
I have always believed that there is a thread of divine order that runs through everything … that what we experience is not random or coincidental but here to help us become more aware, more awake and evolve. When we look at big messy, painful life stuff–death of a loved one, health crises, financial loss or divorce–the idea that everything is perfect, sounds insane. But looking at how axial the many losses in my immediate family were to my path and my current work –I know in my bones this is true for me. Even if it feels impossible or crazy to justify how or why this is so.
This year the back of our family holiday cards said, “The purpose of our lives is to give birth to the best that is within us (Marianne Williamson).” During the time I was a career coach, I worked with thousands of clients, many of whom experienced or were recovering from unimaginable tragedy. Yet, everything always worked out. And interestingly the more they trusted and let things unfold –the faster everything seemed to fall into order.
When I allow instead of fight what I’m experiencing—when I release and let go–I can see a strange perfection, even in the midst of chaos and extreme disorder. I can look at my messy house, my complex relationships, my less than perfect financials and observe the underlying truth that everything is perfect. Really. I am in the right place, at the right time, right now.
A CHALLENGE: For one entire day, play with the idea that everything in your life is in divine order. Every time something appears to “not go your way,” invite in the words: everything is perfect, and see if it creates a shift or change in perception. Be curious, be open, be willing to be surprised. We all need to take off our glasses every now and then, give them a good cleaning and challenge our current world view. I’d love to hear what you learn.
JOIN OUR TRIBE! Ready to move into a more trusting place and learn to go with the flow of life-instead of moving against it? Consider joining our international community of women supporting women and tap into the power of a tribe by becoming a RTA-Certified Facilitator. The program includes an individual coaching session with me and we’re offering $100 off training this month. Learn more.
P.S. If you’ve been considering joining me at beautiful Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, the largest retreat center in North America, Jan. 29-31 or at Esalen Institute Feb. 26-28 in Big Sur, CA on the ocean, don’t delay, only a handful of rooms left!
Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by life balance teacher/coach/self-care evangelist and Career Strategists president, Renée Peterson Trudeau. Offering custom life balance workshops, women’s retreats, training/certification, books/telecourses and individual career coaching, her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Spirituality & Health and more. Thousands of women in ten countries are becoming RTA-Certified Facilitators and leading/joining self-care groups based on her award-winning curriculum. She is the author of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal and Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and 13 year-old son. More on her background here.