Self-Compassion

Last week I had a day where I felt like I was swimming through steel cut oatmeal (as my west Texas therapist friend Donna likes to say).

I was judgmental and finding fault with every person, group, situation, scenario I was bumping up against.

And when I meditated, the thoughts I usually watch dance by like twigs rolling down a river, were as thick as cement running through my veins.

But my saving grace was I knew it. There was a level of discernment happening thanks largely to a presence coach I began working with almost 17 years ago that introduced me to the principles author/therapist Richard Carlson taught around the connection between thought and mood.

Even though I couldn’t easily pull myself out of this funk, I knew I was responsible for feeling yucky. I was the originator of these negative thoughts. These pesky, multiplying “tribbles” (remember these on Star Trek?) were having a field day at my expense. And yes, the quickest way to change my mood was to change my thinking, but that morning, this task looked as daunting as climbing Mount Everest.

So I acknowledged where I was. Reached out and asked for some support. Kept my expectations low around my work output. Tried to laugh at myself (“You’ve got to be kidding ….you think I’m going to believe THAT?!). Drank a tall glass of self-compassion and sat with the reminder that this too shall pass.

And it did. Friday came and after I had the opportunity to teach a workshop for an amazing, inspiring group of professionals, I was reminded of who I really was. And that I am not my negative thoughts.

And what I truly desire is that I’ll remember to be grateful when my mood is high and graceful when it’s low.

Because one thing I’m guaranteed of for the rest of this life is that the thoughts will keep coming. And some days when I’m lucky, I’ll get to watch them float by on the river, waving from the banks. While others, I’ll find myself jumping on their tenuous raft and floating down the murky stream right along with them, rats and all!

P.S. Each quarter I take a personal/business planning retreat to help me determine how best to use my energy/time to support my businesses in the coming 3-6 months. If you’re self-employed and needing focus, an energy boost, high level, strategic coaching support and to be reminded of why you do what you do this fall, consider joining me on Sept. 16 at Casa de Artistas in Austin. I love these visioning retreats and always leave with clear, grounded direction.

Note: I’m out on a writing sabbatical this summer and we’re surveying the Emotional and Spiritual Health of Families for my new writing project. If you have 5 minutes to tell me about your family culture, I’d love to get your input (and feel free to share with friends/lists): http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/RXZ88GR

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The Journey, a blog about coach/author/entrepreneur Renee Trudeau’s personal journey and living life from the inside out, comes out weekly.

Photo: Roses from my sister’s blessingway. They say the rose is symbolic of compassion for self and others. I’ll have another round.