My #1 life balance secret

“Are you listening to your life; what is it trying to tell you?” Renee Trudeau

Most people are surprised to hear that I love making a big pot of minestrone soup for my family and friends as much as I love getting invited to go to India to speak to a women’s group on work/life balance. So after almost six weeks of speaking gigs and travel, I’m ready to be at home, anchor, reconnect with my family and get clear on my top priorities. One of the ways I do this after a busy time, is by taking a personal planning retreat.

I take personal retreats-usually each quarter–to sit with the questions, “What is uniquely mine to do?” and “What is the best use of my energy and talents in the next 3 months?”

More than ever, many of us are feeling overcommitted, overscheduled and exhausted. We’re trying to do too much. A personal planning retreat is a great way to pause, pull back and get clear on what matters most. You may want to spend this time getting clear on what in your personal or professional life is calling for your attention and thinking about how you want to allocate your time and resources over the next ninety days (I find this much less overwhelming than looking at an entire year).

From Chapter Four in The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal, I recommend starting by making a list of what activities fuel you (which ones give you energy, nurture you, make you come alive) and what activities drain you (create a physical tightness or discomfort in your back, belly or neck every time they cross your consciousness). Often these drains are things like a financial issue that must be handled, a tough conversation that has been postponed, a disorganized space at work or at home or a career or job issue that needs to be addressed.

I like to approach these drains with an aggressive housecleaning mindset, giving myself three options for handling these energy zaps:
1.I can “just do it” —and set a deadline for when I’ll complete the project
2.I can delegate it—and ask for help if needed or outsource the task
3.I can dump it—and walk away from this task or decide it isn’t going to happen (at least not this year!)

During your personal retreat, you can revisit old goals or dreams, enlist books for inspiration (see my life balance books The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal or Nurturing the Soul of Your Family for great exercises), draw from the Inspiration Café, journal, draw/paint or create a collage from magazine images that represents your vision for how you want to experience the next three months.

Do whatever inspires you and helps you gain clarity and focus (but “do less,” and trust your intuition; this isn’t a race). A primary goal of this retreat—whether it’s a day or a weekend—is to give your analytical thinking a rest and give your creativity and your “inner teacher” the opportunity to speak. Some tips to help you get the most from your retreat:

•Set aside a day or a weekend void of all distractions (a minimum of eight hours is ideal, but even 4 hours is great).
•You may want to make this a personal retreat and be alone or you may decide to attend a guided group retreat; it depends on your personal needs and life stage. I do both.
•Choose a location that is inspiring and conducive to contemplation—a quiet park or natural setting; a friend’s vacant house; a retreat, yoga or spa center or even a quiet coffeehouse are good places to go (but get out of your own house!).
•Focus on what you want to create for the next ninety days of your life.
*Have fun and make this your own!
•Get the time on your calendar NOW! Otherwise it won’t happen. Think this sounds impossible? Well, if not now, then when?

You may, like me, decide you want to take a personal retreat each quarter.  These planned respites are a wonderful, nurturing way for you to invest in yourself and your future. They may just be one of the best gifts you’ll ever receive.

INVITE: Want to take a guided retreat and enjoy the warm company of like-minded women? My next two retreats are Jan. 23-25 and July 10-12 at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health–read testimonials here. Or call our office to find out more about having me create a custom half or full-day retreat for your staff or team.

P.S.  I’m really looking forward to a heart-to-heart kitchen table chat with my dear friend–and author of Raising Happiness-–Christine Carter on Wed. Nov. 5 from 2-3 p.m. CST where we’ll share our top secrets for how to be more productive and less-stressed year-round (taking personal planning retreats is one of mine). Join us for Low-Stress, High Joy Holidays-a free event (download also available). Register here.

Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by work life balance teacher/speaker and Career Strategists president, Renée Peterson Trudeau. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping and more. Thousands of women in ten countries are becoming RTA-Certified Facilitators and leading/joining self-renewal groups based on her award-winning curriculum.  She is the author of The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal and Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and 12 year-old son. More on her background here.

Photo:  I just made my favorite warm lentil salad after returning from a trip. I love to nourish myself and my family through cooking delicious, energy-rich foods. Having enough time in my schedule to do so is one my life of priorities.