Once while facilitating a women's retreat at Esalen, I shared my definition of self-care with the group: the art of attuning and responding to your needs and desires moment to moment. Then I asked the circle, "Do you feel safe with yourself?"

Last weekend I spent an hour with my December calendar--not penciling things in, but revisiting pending events and making choices that support a more spacious, restorative winter schedule. Does the thought of hanging lights and attending…