Want to Feel More Free? Do it Differently

This past weekend while hunkering down during the epic ice storm in Western North Carolina, my husband and I did a couples mindfulness class that explored habitual ways of relating.  The day before, I tried a new Thai soup recipe and picked up an array of fresh releases from the library on topics ranging from grief to neurobiology. Today, as I prepare for my Friday Kripalu retreat, I’m throwing out my old retreat schedule and eagerly embracing a new more spacious program!

My desire to try new experiences and be pushed out of my comfort zone is ever-present. Choosing to step out of my routine and do it differently makes me feel energized, alive and fans my creativity!

What does doing it differently mean? Shaking up your life and questioning habitual routines, looking at issues through a fresh lens, challenging rote patterns around how you show up in the world and exploring new ways of being.

Whether it’s small (driving a new route to or from work or school or changing what you eat for breakfast) or big (walking after dinner each night instead of watching TV, or taking up the guitar in lieu of an evening glass of wine)— “doing it differently,” makes us feel more vibrant, invigorated and grateful for the gift of life.

Research shows our brains benefit tremendously when we step out of our routines. We create new neural pathways and enhance brain function, learning and memory when we mix it up (ever wonder why your 72-year-old friend who is always signing up for tango classes, taking up fiddle and learning how to grow her own food is sharp as a tack?!).

Much of our life is rote. We’ve fallen into habitual, unconscious ways of doing, being and seeing — from what we eat, read, watch, say, and listen to, to how we respond to family, co-workers and others we meet throughout the course of our day. Author and neuroscientist Joe Dispenza says we have about 60-70,000 thoughts a day and 90% of today’s thoughts are the same ones we had yesterday!

I love The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and In Business right by Charles Duhigg. Charles says we basically move through our days—like rats in a maze—in an endless cycle of “cue-routine-reward.” Most of the time, we aren’t making conscious choices or doing things because they work, they’re the best for us or because they bring us joy—we do the same things over and over because they’re familiar.

In my work/life alignment and resiliency workshops, I challenge men and women by asking, “If we released old, habitual ways of being, what would a more expanded version of who we are look like?” We’re not self-improvement projects. But what would it feel like to come into the highest expression of who we are?

In Breaking Free and Making Hard Choices, Chapter Nine from my book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family, I share, “In essence, habits are nothing more than a choice we make over and over again until the new behavior becomes automatic.” But, as author Robert Puller puts it, “Good habits, once established, are just as hard to break as are bad habits.”

If we want to feel more freedom and joy, we have to be willing to wake up from “Groundhog Day” and question why we’re doing what we’re doing. Every single day (P.S. My retreats are a GREAT opportunity to do this; join me March 20-22 in the ancient California redwoods).

Warmly-