Feeling Overwhelmed? Try Incremental Self-Care

Last week, I was visiting with a dear friend who just started an intense graduate program. She also works full-time and is juggling family demands. Her life feels uber-full, and it’s often hard for her to make it to a yoga class, to the hiking trail or to carve out time for reflection/journaling. We talked about her struggle to find balance and I suggested she play with a concept I call incremental self-care.

This idea was hard-won for me. When I was in my 30s and working in a stressful, demanding communications job with long hours, I would attempt to make it to the local hike/bike trail for a walk or to my meditation cushion for a 20 minute sit, but often I’d “abort mission.” My thinking was that since I couldn’t find the time to successfully complete one of these wellness activities (as I had envisioned doing them), I might as well not do anything at all.

Can you relate? 

This shifted dramatically when in 1999, I began researching, studying, practicing and writing about the art and science of self-care—which I define as attuning and responding to your needs and desires moment to moment—and realized how wrong I was. Self-care isn’t about self-improvement, becoming YOU 2.0 or following the advice of a health guru—it’s about meeting yourself where you are right now and making choices that support a kinder way of being with yourself (join me at my Sept. 15-17 retreat for women leaders if you’d like my support for diving deep in to the art/science of self-care).

New to the concept of self-care? When I first introduce this practice, women often sigh and say this sounds like one more thing to add to their to-do list (although for some of our clients—scheduling in “dates with yourself” can be a powerful way to keep your well-being a priority). But when I share it’s really more about cultivating a new way of being and taking baby steps towards developing a new relationship to yourself—they become curious. 

If you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed and tired of over-giving or over-extending, pause, close your eyes, put your hand over your chest and ask, “What do I need?” Then, consider weaving a few of my favorite five-minute self-care pearls into your busy day.

Eight power-packed self-care “dollops” to micro-dose this week:  

Just breathe. Breathe in for four, hold, then exhale for six (through your nose with your mouth closed; repeat eight times and go at your own pace). Conscious breathing is the most powerful way to come into the present and it calms our fight or flight response lightning fast!

Sit and do nothing. Our minds crave stillness (not to mention our hearts, bodies and souls). Rest in stillness with your eyes closed for five minutes. Stay with your breath and watch your thoughts float by like twigs down a busy stream. Your only job is to just be.

Walk. Walking is great for stress relief, idea generation, problem solving and integrating our left/right brain. Even just five minutes of brisk walking has been shown to have positive impact. Get out of your home or office and go take a walk—the longer the better!

Write. Many are finding tremendous benefits from guided journaling. It helps us connect our inner and outer world and release our worries. Try my three question quickie journaling exercise: Grab a pen/paper and answer: How do I feel? What do I need? What do I want? Repeat as often as needed–I do this every morning and often throughout the day.

Lie down and put your legs up the wall. Packed schedule and can’t find time for a yoga or exercise class? Close your office door and try legs up the wall—a yoga posture that is great for instantly calming your nervous system and offering a whole other host of benefits. I LOVE this pose (no need for a pillow or special equipment—take off your shoes first though). 

Massage out the stress. Often we’re surprised by how soothing it can feel to kindly rub our upper and mid-arms (circle your wrists and fingers, too) to release tension and help bring us back to the here and now. Also, I just love Yoga Tune Up Balls behind my lower back and under my thighs when sitting or traveling for long periods of time.

Try earthing. Find the nearest green space, take off your shoes and socks and get your feet on the grassy ground. Walk around or if you have time, lie down on a blanket on your stomach. A lot of research is emerging about the benefits of communing with nature in this way. For me, putting my feet in the dirt always helps me gain perspective!

Drink water. Most of us are dehydrated all the time and we underestimate the side effects of not drinking enough good, clean, filtered water: irritability, headaches, fuzzy thinking, lethargy. Shoot for 64 oz. a day and try sipping throughout the day rather than chugging water after a workout (you can always tell when you’re getting enough water because your skin will look amazing!).

Feel inspired to try incremental self-care? Stay curious, invite in self-compassion and keep your sense of humor. Taking regular breaks throughout the day and  slowing down to a more humane pace is a radical form of self-care for many of us.

WANT SUPPORT FOR FINDING YOUR CENTER? HERE ARE FOUR OPPORTUNITIES: 

• **TWO SPOTS LEFT; DOORS CLOSE 7/12** September 15-17th ~ Sing, Dance, Pray: Romancing the Beloved at the Retreat Center at Lake Logan (45 min. from Asheville, NC airport). Located on sacred land in the oldest mountain range in the world. Limited to 25 women (most of my retreats are LARGER). Includes an optional mentoring session on how to lead life-changing women’s groups/retreats.  Doors close 7/12; only 2 spots left! Learn more/register.
• Oct. 13-15th ~ Awakening Your Wild Soul: A Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health (Berkshire Mountains, MA). Packages start at just $635. Our most popular retreat of the year! Learn more/register.
• Wild Souls Nature Adventures (based in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western NC): authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, meditation workshops, women’s circles & more.  New offerings listed each week; have me design a custom experience for your team/friends. Join us Sunday, July 16th  for Wild Souls Authentic Movement near Asheville, NC. Learn more. 

Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by mindfulness coach/author/speaker and self-care evangelist Renée Peterson Trudeau. Passionate about helping men and women find balance through the art/science of self-care, Renee has been facilitating high-impact, interactive workshops for Fortune 500 companies, national nonprofits/conferences and organizations/teams worldwide for 25 years. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, AARP, Spirituality & Health and more. She and her team have certified more than 450 facilitators in 10 countries around the globe to lead self-renewal groups/retreats based on her pioneering self-care curriculum. She’s the author of two books on life balance including the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life.  She and her husband live in Western North Carolina and Austin, Texas; her latest venture is Wild Souls Nature Adventures. More on Renee here.