Three Reasons to Build a Support System (& how to begin)

The week before final exams my freshman year in college, my healthy, 44-year-old dad had a massive heart attack. I was devastated. But what saddens me as I look back on that rough time, is that I didn’t reach out for support. Other than sharing the news with one close friend, I kept my feelings to myself, armored up my tender heart and marched straight into my exams. I think I failed all but one of my tests.

I often wish I could go back and tell my young 18-year-old self: “It’s ok, you don’t have to always hold it together. Learning to ask for help is a strength and an asset.” As the oldest of seven in a hyper-independent, achievement-oriented family, I had to work hard to cultivate this skill.

Over the last 25 years in working with organizations, teams and professionals around work-life balance, I’ve observed that people who are comfortable asking for and receiving help—whether that’s from a coach, a therapist, a mentor, professional organization, business partner, neighbor, friend or colleague—experience greater success and feel more connected and confident in all areas of their lives. Having a support system can have a huge impact on how you experience day-to-day life.

Research shows that individuals who have robust support systems:

• are more effective at work and at home (they feel as if they have a “team” behind them and that they’re not all alone)
• weather personal and professional challenges more easily and are less likely to feel overwhelmed and are better at maintaining perspective
• stay healthier on all levels and keep resolutions—particularly those involving mental and physical well-being
• are less likely to feel isolated (isolation can lead to feelings of despair and failure) and experience less stress and burnout
• have children who are comfortable asking for and receiving support and help from others

Learning to get comfortable asking for and receiving help takes serious practice. Even though it’s difficult for most of us, it’s in our nature to give and receive help. We are meant to experience community and connection, to lean on and into each other, not just when things get tough—but every day!

In the chapter on Building a Support Network from my book, Nurturing the Soul of Your Family, I share a powerful exercise guiding you through how to build your own personal and professional support network. Here’s an excerpt from that chapter.

Building a Support System: A Guided Exercise ~ Close your eyes for a minute and place one hand over the center of your chest. Take a deep breath. Observe with curiosity and compassion whatever “asking for help” stirs up for you. When you’re ready, take out a notebook/pen and answer the following:

1. What would it look like to take the first steps toward allowing support into my life? Where do I most need help?
2. How would it feel to be more supported—personally and professionally—in all areas of my life?
3. How might my key relationships shift if I began to ask for and receive more support?

I challenge you this week to step out of your comfort zone and ask for help. Having a support system makes all the difference in how you experience the journey!

P.S. Love to support women, have a communications background and want to receive career mentoring from me? Check out our fall internship and our part-time communications coordinator job based in Western NC. Learn more about these two positions here.

Warmly,

I’D LOVE TO SUPPORT YOU! OFFERINGS TO HELP YOU PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE:

• You deserve to take a retreat–YES! Join me September 19 – 21^st at The Art of Living Retreat Center in beautiful Boone, NC in the Blue Ridge Mountains (photo above) or October 24 – 26^th at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in the Berkshire Mountains, MA for Soul Tending: Cultivating Grace, Power and Intuition ~ A Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat.  Both will sell-out, so don’t delay! These are amazingly affordable retreats and both offer complete packages starting around $700.
• Lead women’s groups/retreats! Secrets to Facilitating Life-Changing Women’s Groups/Retreats ~ an online, self-paced mentoring course. Would you like to empower women in your area through facilitating women’s groups/retreats? Based on Renee’s 30+ years experience training 450+ facilitators and teaching at world-renowned retreat centers like Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and Esalen Institute, this empowering on-demand video course offers everything you need to start facilitating women’s circles and retreats. Only $195. Learn more.
• Plan a 2025-2026 workshop for your team/organization. My primary work is speaking professionally at national/regional conferences, employee events and to companies/organizations worldwide! I love weaving neuroscience, work-life alignment strategies, mindfulness & resiliency practices to create unforgettable workshops & presentations that help employees and teams feel more creative, focused, resourced and alive. Learn about my speaking here and fill out in inquiry form for your next event.
• Join me in NC for a Wild Souls Nature Adventure (based in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western NC): authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, meditation/resiliency workshops, women’s circles & more. Have me design a custom experience for your team/friends: learn more.  Join me for Wild Souls Authentic Movement here. Next Wild Souls Movement class is August 17th.