Feel It to Heal It: Three Ways to Begin

I sat next to a college student on the plane recently after coming back from leading a retreat in MA. I listened as she talked about her fears and anxieties around her career path and “What’s next?” When I got up to leave, I asked her, “Cristina, what is the most challenging part of all this?” She replied, “That I don’t feel validated or seen. Every time I bring up my worries, adults start talking about how much harder things were when they were 23. It makes me feel even worse. I wish they would just listen and really hear me.” Exactly.

This week I’m focusing on emotional self-care and offering up a helpful reminder: we have to feel it, to heal it.

Mindfulness teachers and scientists say that when we take the time to truly feel our uncomfortable feelings, on average, they only last for about 90 seconds. But so often rather than staying with the temporary discomfort they bring up, we numb out, sweep them under the rug or go into hyper-busy mode.  Our emotions (energy in motion) are our teachers; they’re trying to help us transform, grow and release what we no longer need.

We are not self-improvement projects; when we remember to meet ourselves where we are and honor our journey, it helps us invite in more self-acceptance and self-compassion.

Ready to feel to heal? Here are three suggestions to support your emotional well-being:

1. Carefully choose friends/mentors who have the emotional and spiritual maturity to hold the space for what you are sharing; they should allow you to show up “warts and all” while also seeing the highest and best in you. Discern: do you need the support of a good friend or mentor, a minister, a coach or a licensed therapist?  Be choosy and take time to get clear on your needs.
2. Remember one of my favorite mantras: many things are true at once. When looking at big life stuff, it’s easy to get in an all-or-nothing mindset. This rarely serves us; cultivate the ability to see more than one perspective (read how to become comfortable with polarities ).
3. Journaling can become a great tool for self-awareness and insight. Even just taking a few minutes each morning to reflect and write your answers to: How do I feel? What do I need? What do I want? Writing is invaluable to helping me access the 30,000-foot view of my life.

Your life path and journey are sacred. Our greatest growth comes from staying awake, alert and present to what is unfolding moment to moment while inviting in self-compassion. I see you, I hear you, I honor your experience.  As the song goes that I often lead in our community song circles, “Every emotion has a right to life.”

Warmly,

WANT SUPPORT FOR EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE? HERE ARE FOUR OPPORTUNITIES: 

• Join me for a retreat this fall! September 19 – 21^st at The Art of Living Retreat Center in Boone, NC or October 24 – 26^th at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in the Berkshire Mountains, MA (photo above) for Soul Tending: Cultivating Grace, Power and Intuition ~ A Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat.  Both will sell-out, so don’t delay! These are amazingly affordable retreats (as retreats go) and both offer complete packages starting around $700.
• Lead women’s groups/retreats! Secrets to Facilitating Life-Changing Women’s Groups/Retreats ~ an online, self-paced mentoring course. Would you like to empower women in your area through facilitating women’s groups/retreats? Based on Renee’s 30+ years experience training 450+ facilitators and teaching at world-renowned retreat centers like Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and Esalen Institute, this empowering on-demand video course offers everything you need to start facilitating women’s circles and retreats. Only $195. Learn more.
• Plan a 2025-2026 workshop for your team/organization. Did you know my primary work is speaking professionally at national/regional conferences, employee events and to companies/organizations worldwide? I love weaving neuroscience, work-life alignment strategies, mindfulness & resiliency practices to create unforgettable workshops & presentations that help employees and teams feel more creative, focused, resourced and alive. Learn more about my speaking here.
• Join me in NC for a Wild Souls Nature Adventure (based in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western NC): authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, meditation/resiliency workshops, women’s circles & more. Have me design a custom experience for your team/friends.  Learn more.  And, learn about Wild Souls Authentic Movement here. Next class in Brevard, NC: May 18th.