Are You Prioritizing Friendships? Four Ways to Begin

When was the last time you did a “friendship check-up” with your close girlfriends? Everywhere I speak, teach and lead retreats lately, women are talking about friendships, connection and their desire for greater intimacy and authenticity with their girlfriends.

They’re sharing that they are letting some friendships go and deepening others. They’re getting clear on what they need from relationships—particularly during these turbulent times. They’re seeing first-hand what a huge impact real, heartfelt connection with friends has on their quality of life, mental health and overall well-being.

A well-known UCLA study on female friendships found that these key relationships not only help reduce stress, but they also extend our lifespan and reduce the likelihood of physical problems upon aging. The study discovered that women have a natural reaction to seek out their friends in times of stress (they called this “tend and befriend”), which helps them rebound physically and emotionally.  And, according to the Mayo Clinic, deep friendships—not family ties—have the biggest impact on how we age and how connected we feel.

Friendships need cultivating, tending to and a willingness to “come as we are,” (not just when we’re on top of the world). But what happens when we get overscheduled or caretaking for others dominates our lives? We cancel lunches, walks, tea and dinner dates—when these meet-ups are exactly what we need to help us navigate life transitions and tough times. 

Emotional self-care is as important as eating nourishing foods and daily movement. Critical to this is seeking out and taking time to connect with friends who nurture us, and using discernment: knowing when it’s time to let friendships go and when it’s time to reach out and cultivate new or existing ones. This takes courage. It requires us to stretch. It’s part of our growth and evolution as spiritual beings. I can’t tell you how many heads nod when I bring up this theme at workshops/retreats; so many of us are still in old, stagnant relationships that are draining us, rather than fueling us.

We need—and deserve—friends that let us show up “warts and all.” We need friends who encourage us to shine and are not threatened by our success (read more about Sisterhood), and we need confidants who provide refuge, a space for us to rest without having to prove, do, or be anything to anyone. Consider:

• Which of my friendships truly nourish me? Who would I like to spend more time with? Which relationships am I ready to lovingly release and let go of?
• Asking your closest friend(s): What do you most need from our relationship? What do you most desire? What are the ways I tend to our relationship that you appreciate?
• Ask yourself: Am I willing to create space in my week to make time with friends a priority?
• Am I ready to stop holding it all together, let go, be vulnerable and allow my friendships to evolve and deepen?

This fall, I challenge you to focus on cultivating (or deepening) a new or existing friendship. Lean in. Make this a priority. I’d love to hear your ideas on steps you’re taking to move “friend time” to the top of your list. If this theme calls to you and you’re desiring greater sisterhood, join me Jan. 30-Feb. 1 at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health (MA) or March 20-22 at 1440 Multiversity Retreat Center (CA). The women who attend my retreats are deeply heart-centered, authentic and ready for “get real” connection! Community = medicine! Now, more than ever.

Warmly,

 

FOUR OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP YOU PRIORITIZE YOUR SELF-CARE: 

• Jan. 30-Feb. 1st ~ Tending & Befriending Your Beautiful Self: A Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health (Berkshire Mountains, Western MA). Packages start at just $700 for this soul-nurturing weekend; register here! Can’t make it? Join me March 20-22nd for Awakening Your Wild Soul at 1440 Multiversity in the CA redwoods! Learn more/ register.
• Lead women’s groups/retreats! Secrets to Facilitating Life-Changing Women’s Groups/Retreats ~ an online, self-paced mentoring course. Would you like to empower women in your area through facilitating women’s groups/retreats? Based on Renee’s 30+ years experience training 450+ facilitators and teaching at world-renowned retreat centers like Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and Esalen Institute, this empowering on-demand video course offers everything you need to start facilitating women’s circles and retreats. Only $195. Learn more.
• Download your self-guided retreat today ~ Ready to prioritize your self-care, relax your body and enjoy empowering mentoring from Renee 24/7 from the comfort of your home, car or office? Our highly popular self-paced online retreats are only $59. Download & enjoy today. Learn more.
• Join me in the Blue Ridge Mountains of NC for a Wild Souls Adventure: authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, meditation/resiliency workshops, women’s circles & more. Have me design a custom experience/ritual for your team/friends: learn more.  Join me for Wild Souls Authentic Movement class; next class is Sunday, Nov. 2 here. 

Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by mindfulness coach/author/speaker and self-care evangelist Renée Peterson Trudeau. Passionate about helping men and women live more intentionally and find balance through the art/science of self-care, Renee has been facilitating high-impact, interactive workshops for Fortune 500 companies, national nonprofits/conferences and organizations/teams worldwide for 25 years. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, AARP, Spirituality & Health and more. She and her team have certified more than 450 facilitators in 10 countries around the globe to lead self-renewal groups/retreats based on her pioneering self-care curriculum. She’s the author of two books on life balance including the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Renee and her husband live in Western North Carolina and they have one son in New York City. Her latest venture is Wild Souls Nature Adventures. More on Renee here.