Feel to Heal: 3 Gentle Ways to Begin
I sat next to a college student on the plane recently after coming back from leading a retreat in MA. I listened as she talked about her fears and anxieties around her career path and “What’s next?” When I got up to leave, I asked her, “Cristina, what is the most challenging part of all this?” She replied, “That I don’t feel validated or seen. Every time I bring up my worries, adults start talking about how much harder things were when they were 23. It makes me feel even worse. I wish they would just listen and really hear me.” Exactly.
This week I’m focusing on emotional self-care and offering up a helpful reminder: we have to feel it, to heal it.
Mindfulness teachers and scientists say that when we take the time to truly feel our uncomfortable feelings, on average, they only last for about 90 seconds. But so often rather than staying with the temporary discomfort they bring up, we numb out, sweep them under the rug or go into hyper-busy mode. Our emotions (energy in motion) are our teachers; they’re trying to help us transform, grow and release what we no longer need.
We are not self-improvement projects; when we remember to meet ourselves where we are and honor our journey, it helps us invite in more self-acceptance and self-compassion.
Ready to feel to heal? Here are three suggestions to support your emotional well-being:
- Carefully choose friends/mentors who have the emotional and spiritual maturity to hold the space for what you are sharing; they should allow you to show up “warts and all” while also seeing the highest and best in you. Discern: do you need the support of a good friend or mentor, a minister, a coach or a licensed therapist? Be choosy and take time to get clear on your needs.
- Remember one of my favorite mantras: many things are true at once. When looking at big life stuff, it’s easy to get in an all-or-nothing mindset. This rarely serves us; cultivate the ability to see more than one perspective (read how to become comfortable with polarities).
- Journaling can become a great tool for self-awareness and insight. Even just taking a few minutes each morning to reflect and write your answers to: How do I feel? What do I need? What do I want? Writing is invaluable to helping me access the 30,000-foot view of my life.
Your life path and journey are sacred. Our greatest growth comes from staying awake, alert and present to what is unfolding moment to moment while inviting in self-compassion. I see you, I hear you, I honor your experience. As the song goes that I often lead in our community song circles, “Every emotion has a right to life.”
Warmly,
WANT SUPPORT FOR EMOTIONAL SELF-CARE? HERE ARE FOUR OPPORTUNITIES:
- Want to offer new ways to help your employees or organization feel more creative, focused and energized? For more than 25 years I’ve been designing multi-dimensional work-life alignment workshops, keynotes, and retreats for groups around the globe. Learn more.
- Can’t join me in-person? Download your self-guided retreat today! Ready to prioritize your self-care, relax your body and enjoy empowering mentoring from Renee 24/7 from the comfort of your home, car or office? Our highly popular self-paced online retreats are only $59. Download & enjoy today. Learn more.
- Are you feeling called to facilitate women’s groups/retreats? Check out Secrets to Facilitating Life-Changing Women’s Groups/Retreats ~ an online, self-paced training & mentoring course. Only $195. Learn more/enroll here.
- Live in the Southeast or near North Carolina? Join me in the NC Blue Ridge Mountains for a Wild Souls Adventure: authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, meditation/resiliency workshops, women’s circles & more or have me design a custom experience/ritual for your team/friends: learn more. Join us for our next public Wild Souls Authentic Movement classes Sunday, May 31st in Brevard, NC outside of Asheville; learn more here.
Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by transformational coach/author/speaker and self-care evangelist Renée Peterson Trudeau. Passionate about helping men and women live more intentionally and find balance through the art/science of self-care, Renee has been facilitating high-impact, interactive workshops for Fortune 500 companies, national nonprofits/conferences and organizations/teams worldwide for 25 years. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, AARP, Spirituality & Health and more. She and her team have certified more than 450 facilitators in 10 countries around the globe to lead self-renewal groups/retreats based on her pioneering self-care curriculum. She’s the author of several books on life balance including the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Renee and her husband live in Western North Carolina and they have one son in New York City. Her latest venture is Wild Souls Nature Adventures. More on Renee here.
