6 Things to Do When the Going Gets Tough

Many people are struggling right now and barely keeping their heads above water. I was visiting with an old friend yesterday who is battling depression. “It comes and it goes, but when it returns, I often freeze and forget what helps me the most. All my great self-care practices fly right out the window,” she said.

I get it! Recently I received some surprising news that sent me into a tunnel of fear. And while I teach, practice and evangelize about the practice of self-care, for the first 24 hours after this incident, I was paralyzed. Everything I knew about taking sweet care of myself was off sunning on a remote island.

Can you relate? I think we all know what helps us “feel good fast” (both the healthy and unhealthy habits) but when our body and brain get triggered by big, bold, old emotions, we revert to a primal state.

But, good news! There are several simple, nurturing self-care practices that can bring us back to our innate well-being quite quickly. Here are six things to do when life feels hard:

Get grateful. Voicing what we’re grateful for heightens our mood, floods our body with endorphins, shifts and broadens how we see the world and supports us in remembering what really matters. It’s a gift that can be accessed anytime, anywhere and it’s free. Try this practice at the evening dinner table.

Go outside. Time in nature is often referred to as the ultimate antidepressant because it affects us physically, mentally and emotionally. A date with Mother Nature reduces stress, enhances our mood/overall mental health, helps us to “reset,” promotes cognitive abilities, fosters problem solving and creativity, supports work/life balance, stimulates social interactions and enhances family connection and intimacy. Read Nature: The Ultimate Anti-depressant.

Move your body …breathe. Ever heard the phrase, “The issues are in the tissues”? Most of us need all the help we can get to move out of our heads and into our bodies. Go to a yoga, Nia or qi gong class, take a hike, walk around the block or in your parking lot at work—just move and breathe! One of my favorite breathing exercises is equal parts breathing (so detoxifying and calming for our systems!). Breathe in for three—hold for three—exhale for three. Try this yoga-style, through your nose, with your mouth closed.

Ask for help. People who are comfortable asking for and receiving help—whether it’s from a coach, therapist, mentor, professional organization, business partner, neighbor, friend or colleague—experience greater success and feel more connected and confident in all areas of their lives. Learning to ask for and receive help can be one of the most important skills you can cultivate AND it can open you up to all kinds of new perspectives. Having a support system can make all the difference in how you experience the journey. Read more.

Do less. We’re entering a whole new frontier that requires us to find more space to breathe, think, dream and digest. We’re craving more time to just be—so we can actually integrate into our hearts and souls what’s happening moment to moment. The more choices and decision we have, the less happy we are. Over-doing keeps us from experiencing life in the moment and is taxing to our well-being. Read Do less …and experience more.

Feel to heal. The more we’re able to be with what we’re feeling, the more we’re able to heal from old wounds (and access more freedom). When we “feel our feelings,” we become more open and accessible to our loved ones, we’re more connected to our passions and desires, we become comfortable voicing our needs and drawing clear boundaries, we begin to harvest the gifts that come from living with the light and the dark and contrary to what we might think—we actually begin to feel more alive and less fearful. Read We Have to Feel It to Heal It.

Be kind. Always be kind. You don’t know what battles your brothers and your sisters in the grocery store lines, on the playground and in the cube next to you, are waging. This is a time to move a little slower, lighten our loads and not be so ambitious. People first, things second. Let me know how I can support you.

WANT SUPPORT FOR FINDING YOUR CENTER? JOIN ME FOR AN UPCOMING EVENT:

• **ONE SPOT JUST OPENED!** September 15-17th ~ Sing, Dance, Pray: Romancing the Beloved at the Retreat Center at Lake Logan (45 min. from Asheville, NC airport). Located on sacred land in the oldest mountain range in the world. Learn more. Email info@reneetrudeau.com; this rare, intimate sold-out retreat with Renee is limited to 25 women. Deadline to register is Wed. 9/13.
• *MOST POPULAR RETREAT OF THE YEAR!* October 13-15th ~ Awakening Your Wild Soul: A Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health (Berkshire Mountains, MA). Packages start at just $635. Enjoy gorgeous leaf color and crisp, refreshing mountain air; Kripalu is pictured above. Learn more/register. Can’t make it? Join me at Kripalu Jan. 19-21 for Sing, Dance, Pray: Romancing the Beloved women’s self-renewal retreat.
• Wild Souls Nature Adventures (based in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Western NC): authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, meditation workshops, women’s circles & more. New offerings are listed each week; have me design a custom experience for your team/friends. Join us on Sundays for Wild Souls Authentic Movement class near Asheville, NC. Learn more.
• Download your self-guided retreat today ~ Ready to prioritize your self-care, relax your body and enjoy empowering mentoring from Renee 24/7 from the comfort of your home, car or office? Our highly popular self-paced online retreats are only $59. Download & enjoy today. Learn more.

Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by mindfulness coach/author/speaker and self-care evangelist Renée Peterson Trudeau. Passionate about helping men and women find balance through the art/science of self-care, Renee has been facilitating high-impact, interactive workshops for Fortune 500 companies, national nonprofits/conferences and organizations/teams worldwide for 25 years. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, AARP, Spirituality & Health and more. She and her team have certified more than 450 facilitators in 10 countries around the globe to lead self-renewal groups/retreats based on her pioneering self-care curriculum. She’s the author of two books on life balance including the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. She and her husband live in Western North Carolina and Austin, Texas; her latest venture is Wild Souls Nature Adventures. More on Renee here.