Your Homework This Week: Four Hugs a Day!

I love my sister-in-law Ronna. The first time I met her, she gave me the most incredible hug. It wasn’t obligatory, wimpy or semi-committal. It was a full-on bear hug, complete with belly contact and a stout, strong, enveloping embrace. She is my inspiration for all the hugs I give and receive. When was the last time you gave (or received) a really great hug?!

Science backs how powerful hugging can be on our physical, mental and emotional health. When we take time to meet, greet and give each other sincere, heartfelt hugs:

• We get a health boost. Hugs stimulate the production of oxytocin (the love hormone), which is shown to boost our immune system and our ability to fight illness.
• We de-stress. The effects of a hug are immediate. A stress management study conducted at the Advanced Telecommunications Research Institute International in Kyoto showed that participants who received a hug had a significant reduction in the level of cortisol, the stress hormone. A whopping 90% of diseases are said to be linked to high levels of stress in the body.
• We relax and let go. When someone hugs us, pressure receptors in our skin immediately send signals to the vagus nerve. As a result of the vagus nerve stimulation, our heart rate and blood pressure decrease and we feel relaxed and content.
• We get happy. Hugs stimulate the production of dopamine (the pleasure hormone), which helps us to relieve stress, tension and feel more open and trusting.
• We love ourselves more. According to a study conducted at the University College London, physical contact, like that from a hug, is essential to develop and maintain a healthy perception of our body. Hugs also help us to feel more emotionally connected to our friends and family.

Every time I see my single friends (particularly those without kids), I make it a point to give them at least two hugs during our visit. Many, especially in this age of chronic loneliness, are going an entire day without any hugs! That’s no good. Even during COVID, I did back-to-back snuggles with friends I hadn’t seen in a while!

In a relationship now and want to feel more connected to your partner? Dr. Stan Tatkin, psychotherapist/researcher/couples expert at UCLA and author of Wired for Love found that when couples feel safe with one another, a twenty-second, full-body hug is just enough to release oxytocin and allow them to “sync up” their neurobiology.  His research has shown this kind of hugging can have a profound effect on couples’ attachment and communication, especially when done upon greeting one another at the end of the day (and when your partner’s love language is touch). Try it.

Virginia Satir, American psychologist and adolescent expert says, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” Is there someone in your life who could use more hugs? This is the time to choose love over fear.

YOUR HOMEWORK: Make it a point to get in at least four hugs a day this week! Remember, pets, your children, friends and hugging the same person multiple times all count! How do you feel when you nourish yourself in this way? If you’re not a hugger, could you become one? Remember, give a real hug–not a “fake” one! And our course, always be mindful of boundaries and check-in to see if the recipient is up for touch. 

Warmly,

WANT TO PRIORITIZE YOUR SELF-CARE? HERE ARE FOUR OPPORTUNITIES: 

• *NEW* Oct. 16-18 ~ Awaken Your Wild Soul: Reclaim Your Purpose, Power & Inner Wisdom ~ A Women’s Self-Renewal Retreat. Join me at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health in the Berkshire Mountains of MA during peak leaf color for the ultimate fall deep self-care retreat. Learn more/register here.  P.S. Can’t make it in Oct.? Join me at Kripalu Feb. 5-7 for a deep rest Winter Retreat. 
• *Registration now open!*  Sept. 23-29th, 2027  Sing, Dance Pray: A Pilgrimage to Iona, Scotland with Renee. Only 8 spots left. Learn more/register (early bird rate ends soon).
• Are you feeling called to facilitate women’s groups/retreats? Check out Secrets to Facilitating Life-Changing Women’s Groups/Retreats ~ an online, self-paced training & mentoring course. Only $195. Learn more/enroll here.
• Live in the Southeast or near North Carolina? Join me in the NC Blue Ridge Mountains near Asheville for a Wild Souls Adventure: authentic movement classes, community song circles, full moon hikes, women’s circles, workshops & more. Or, have me design a custom experience/ritual for your team/friends: learn more. Join us for our next public Wild Souls Authentic Movement class Sunday, August 16th in Brevard, NC outside of Asheville; learn more here. 

Subscribe here to Live Inside Out, a weekly blog written by transformational coach/author/speaker and self-care evangelist Renée Peterson Trudeau. Passionate about helping men and women live more intentionally and find balance through the art/science of self-care, Renee has been facilitating high-impact, interactive workshops for Fortune 500 companies, national nonprofits/conferences and organizations/teams worldwide for 25 years. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Fast Company, Good Housekeeping, US News & World Report, AARP, Spirituality & Health and more. She and her team have certified more than 450 facilitators in 10 countries around the globe to lead self-renewal groups/retreats based on her pioneering self-care curriculum. She’s the author of several books on life balance including the award-winning The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. Renee and her husband live in Western North Carolina and they have one son in New York City. Her latest venture is Wild Souls Nature Adventures. More on Renee here.